I’m still in love with my ex.
Dear Karen,
I am in a quandry. I am still in love with my ex, but we split up a fair time ago and he has moved on. I still see him from time to time, and he’s always there for me when I need him, but I just want more! I think he knows that I like him, I’m not very subtle about it, but he’s never encouraged me, nor told me to back off. I’m so confused. Lots of other girls like him because he’s so nice and goodlooking, and I get jealous. I was talking to him the other day and a girl came up to him and started flirting, and I just wanted to punch her! Is this normal?
Shall I tell him that I still love him? Or should I just try to make him fall back in love with me?
I’ve even written songs about him *embarrassed*.
I love your music Karen, it really touches me, and it makes me feel like you’d understand this problem, and give me some useful advice.
When are you doing a tour? I’d love to come and see you!
Thanks in advance.
An unhappy fan.
Hi There,
I know this is painful and I have been there of course. You don’t say why you split up but people do change and grow so maybe this isn’t relevant. He obviously still cares for you as he would not be there for you otherwise but the question is how much. I know when I have been in a similar position it has taken for the ex to be in a new relationship for the relationship with me to change.
I’m worried that if you don’t confront this at some point you will be in limbo. I know some will disagree but I don’t know any women who can meet someone when they are in love with an ex so I think the best thing you can do is find out so you can either be with him or move on.
Be realistic before you put yourself through too much. If he is not encouraging it, why not? Is he shy or does he go for what he wants?
Relationships do go through changes but I’m worried that if you have made it obvious and he hasn’t gone for it then maybe he doesn’t want to go back. I know if it was me I would have to find out but you sound more patient than I am. If you want to be with him you have two choices. 1. Play unbelievably hard to get (Immature but often works) 2. Tell him you still love him (mature but risky) If he has really moved on then it doesn’t matter what you do. My feeling would be tell him and find out once and for all. If he rejects you it doesn’t matter. At least you’ll have your answer and have been brave.
There is a school of thought that says whatever relationships we have, however painful, they are put there for a reason and we always learn something. Whatever happens you must remember that you are special and have lots to offer and that you will meet someone else.
Yes it is fairly normal to want to punch girls who flirt with the men we love but definitely best not too!!!
Please don’t be embarrassed about writing songs about your feelings. I was in the beginning but if you write from the heart people will relate. Keep writing.
Hopefully I will be touring soon and I’ll keep you updated.
Let me know what happens with the ex if you get a chance. GOOD LUCK
Love Karen
